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Mike iLL

| | | — | | Internet is like tunnels and caves. Makes us feel like we can try being just about anyone, anywhere for as long as we like. We can be sexually, politically or spiritually free to experiment, and get feedback from accross the world. Find like-minded individuals without regard to race, looks, class or whatever. Spent an hour trying to get squirt turned on today. We make love by looking into each others souls through three eyes.

Finally closed eyes and put my head down on the futon. She’s like “giving up?”. Wanted to say ‘I don’t know what else to do’. She starts pulling away from me - don’t kiss me - dont suck me - dont lick me - don’t bite me. “What you’re doing wrong is you’re tryina turn me on, but I’m already turned on”. “Whadda ya want me to do, force you?” “Maybe.” At this point I don’t even have an erection, but she don’t seem to care so I’m pulling her legs apart, pull her tampon out, and I’m putting my finger in her bloody vagina. Slappin’ her ass, and generally being pretty aggressive. This is what I used to do with my last soul mate who ended up accusing me of rape years later - squirt knows that. Anyway we had wonderfull sex - love her noises - and she said something it’s about time we put a stain on this sheet, and I wonder if I came pink. Is it possible to recover from being accused of something? Sometimes you have to be pigheadedly wrong to figure out what’s right. Sometimes you only find a friend after a terrible fight. Loose your soul to find it. I’m so fucking passive. Passive massive drooler flacid. Take it motherfucker. Take your life - every godblessed moment. You know an ankh (the Egyptian symbol for life) is based on the top view of a sandal? Yes brothers and sisters; pull the earth under you with hand-like feet. I love so many of you out there, hold my hand. Born knowing so much, how can we not know of God?

Blessed be, Mike iLL |

31/05/1999